In Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman writes a passage that fits the same vibe as this piece:<p>>You can’t become an ultrasuccessful lawyer or artist or politician without first “settling” on law, or art, or politics, and therefore deciding to forgo the potential rewards of other careers. If you flit between them all, you’ll succeed in none of them. Likewise, there’s no possibility of a romantic relationship being truly fulfilling unless you’re willing, at least for a while, to settle for that specific relationship, with all its imperfections—which means spurning the seductive lure of an infinite number of superior imaginary alternatives.<p>I give this tendency a name, "Optionality cost" (<a href="https://herbertlui.net/optionality-cost/" rel="nofollow">https://herbertlui.net/optionality-cost/</a>):<p>> When you keep your options open, you’re living a sub-optimal life, betting that you’ll come across the assuredly best option that you’ll eventually commit to.<p>If you've ever gotten into the groove of this mental habit, this post is a nice reminder to be more mindful when you fall into the trance of imagining a better option, and instead commit to whatever it is you're doing in the present moment.
I've been seriously considering getting a tattoo saying "commit to the bit". I find that's both one of my strengths and something I value a lot. It's a kind of anodyne to this problem - do your analysis, make the best choice you can, and then commit fully instead of relitigating, until the next time arises when you need to think carefully again. You'll know when it's time.
I have a house I like, a car I like, a career I like. Nothing in this post resonates with me.<p>Take control of your life and be satisfied with what you have. Put away your phone and pick up a book. Listen to a record. Watch a movie.<p>Yes, people around me want to rise, but I ain't stressin'.
I have "stuff" I like. I even have a wife whom I love. But you're missing the whole point if you think that's what this post is discussing.<p>I want "stuff" that I can't buy, like being able to work with others on problems I find personally interesting and important, or being recognized as someone capable of working on challenges problem because of the effort I've put into being able to do so, or contributing to the world in a way that only I can, etc. These aren't things I can just do, like reading a book or watching a movie. In fact, things like reading a book, listening to a record, or watching a movie are things I don't get much out of and don't bring me much joy.<p>The stuff I DO get a lot out of comes directly from my career. So when it feels like I could/should be getting more out of my career, that's a pretty tough emotion to deal with, and when I hear people claim that doing things like watching a movie or reading a book is the key to happiness, all I hear is someone who simply doesn't understand the dynamic of someone who actually enjoys what they do for work.<p>Regardless, it's fine to have a different perspective on this, but just know that it's not necessarily about money or even prestige, in itself. I have to spend at least 40 hours a week working, and I'd prefer to spend that time doing what I want to do with people I'd want to do that stuff with. That's accomplished through a more successful career. That satisfaction can't be substituted with leisurely entertainment.<p>So I suppose my point is that this post really DOES resonate with me lol but it's also interesting that it's not universal.
Agree 100%, your outlook on life is completely in your control.<p>You can literally just "choose" to be happy, assuming there are no big mental health barriers in the way.<p>Or rather, you can choose behaviors and perspectives that influence your emotional state, even when you can't directly command the emotion itself.<p>No, it's not easy. Controlling your emotions can be very difficult, but that is actually how it works if you think hard enough about it.
> The cruel irony is that the very trait that makes you valuable - awareness of what’s possible - makes you incapable of enjoying what you have.<p>Brought to you by the HR department's retention section.
What in the blue fuck is going on with that awful, awful fade-in blur effect on the text? That's one of the worst things I think I've ever seen.
I think we need to discuss adding Pangram integration to HN, similar to what Substack is doing. This is 100% AI slop, don't waste your time.