6 comments

  • TaylorPhebillo44 minutes ago
    This is a reference to one the Recurse Center&#x27;s social rules: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.recurse.com&#x2F;social-rules" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.recurse.com&#x2F;social-rules</a><p>I was really impressed with how successful RC is at maintaining an environment where people can learn and grow. Part of that is certainly selection effects- the point of center is self directed growth around programming, and there&#x27;s an interview process that I assume filters especially hostile people.<p>But I think the social rules do a lot too, and have been trying to pay attention to the effects on others when someone breaks them at work. No Feigned Surprise is a particularly important one around people who are trying to learn and already a little insecure. It&#x27;s great when they&#x27;ve learned a new thing, and you want to celebrate that, not meet it with denigration!
    • wdrw10 minutes ago
      I always found this particular Recurse Center rule strange. I understand how not <i>feigning</i> surprise can be a good rule, as in you should not pretend to be surprised when you genuinely aren&#x27;t. (e.g. a web front-end dev saying &quot;I don&#x27;t know how to recompile the kernel&quot; - &quot;What, you don&#x27;t know ?!?&quot; - when it&#x27;s clear that there&#x27;s no actual expectation of knowing, it&#x27;s just an attempt to self-aggrandize or put the other person down). But if it&#x27;s a <i>true</i>, <i>genuine</i> surprise, then there is no feigning! If a web front-end dev says &quot;I&#x27;ve never heard of CSS&quot;, it&#x27;s genuinely surprising, and I think it&#x27;s ok to express that. It&#x27;s also useful to the recipient to hear this genuine surprise, because it&#x27;s a strong signal that they&#x27;re missing something important, a much stronger signal than if someone just said in a calm voice &quot;you know, CSS is one of the most important things to learn for web front-end development&quot;. But that&#x27;s not how Recurse Center means it - when they say &quot;no feigning surprise&quot; they actually mean &quot;not showing surprise, no matter how genuine&quot;. I think it&#x27;s generally best to be open in communicating with others, and neither feign something that isn&#x27;t there nor hide something that actually is there.
      • nemomarx0 minutes ago
        I don&#x27;t think most recipients would be able to tell the difference between a put down or self aggrandizing feigned surprise and genuine surprise reliably, so the effect in terms of discouraging them is probably at least similar. It&#x27;s at least a very subtle difference in social cues even if it&#x27;s genuine.
  • akerl_1 hour ago
    Did you mean to link to <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;wizardzines.com&#x2F;comics&#x2F;no-feigning-surprise&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;wizardzines.com&#x2F;comics&#x2F;no-feigning-surprise&#x2F;</a>
    • goodmythical3 minutes ago
      related: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;xkcd.com&#x2F;1053&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;xkcd.com&#x2F;1053&#x2F;</a><p>edit:rhplus beat me to it
    • Qwuke39 minutes ago
      I think so. Maybe dang or tomhow could switch the link :)<p>The social rules work so well that I wish tech cos would just adopt these as baseline. They make interacting with other technical folks much more enjoyable.
    • jtbayly40 minutes ago
      Either way, that’s not feigning surprise. Odd to call it that. What they are saying is when you <i>are</i> surprised somebody didn’t know something, don’t let it show.<p>So “feign unsurprise.”
      • swiftcoder13 minutes ago
        The reason we call it &quot;feigning surprise&quot;, is that the surprise is pretty rarely genuine. It&#x27;s an interaction people have more-or-less-unthinkingly practiced throughout their lives to keep the out-group separated from the in-group
      • akerl_29 minutes ago
        &gt; What they are saying is when you are surprised somebody didn’t know something, don’t let it show.<p>Thats about 50% of what they’re saying. The name comes from the other half.
    • ChrisMarshallNY25 minutes ago
      I think there&#x27;s an xkcd, with the same thing.<p>I really enjoy sharing a planet with Ms. Evans. She seems to be a genuinely decent person, and we could always use more of those.
      • rhplus9 minutes ago
        XKCD: 10,000 people learn something “everyone knows” every day:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;xkcd.com&#x2F;1053&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;xkcd.com&#x2F;1053&#x2F;</a>
  • hbrav25 minutes ago
    I think I&#x27;d appreciate a compilation of such surprising facts, if anyone has a list.<p>I feel like the &quot;falsehoods programmers believe about [thing]&quot; is a little similar, but about correctness and never about performance.
  • quxbar43 minutes ago
    Love this, it&#x27;s like Randall Munroe x Lynda Barry
  • xandrius47 minutes ago
    Feels like the smushed down version of xkcd&#x27;s lucky 10.000: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;xkcd.com&#x2F;1053&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;xkcd.com&#x2F;1053&#x2F;</a>
    • phendrenad242 minutes ago
      That seems like a more general idea, and I like it more.<p>For the last 5 or so decades we&#x27;ve been transitioning from a world where everyone watches the same 4 TV channels to a world where everyone is in their own niche, and the tendency to be surprised that someone doesn&#x27;t know about some cultural phenomenon is directly proportional to age. The way boomers gape and stutter when I said I don&#x27;t know much about The Beatles...
    • iterateoften44 minutes ago
      Almost not related at all expect “learn something new”. Not everything needs xkcd
      • CommieBobDole26 minutes ago
        You&#x27;re right for the link as provided, but the (apparently) correct link provided upthread is <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;wizardzines.com&#x2F;comics&#x2F;no-feigning-surprise&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;wizardzines.com&#x2F;comics&#x2F;no-feigning-surprise&#x2F;</a>, which is pretty similar to the XKCD.
  • polynomial17 minutes ago
    You don&#x27;t know that No Feigning Surprise is actually from an xkcd comic, before it was a wizardzines post? U+1F632